BMW Repair: 2002 330i wont start, lights flashing, logical component, obd scanners

Question
2002 330i drove fine 30k miles. Drove fine to work and back, parked it in garage as usual. Went to drive today and car wont turn over just clicks loudly (but it does not sound like the starter),headlights flash even though they are turned off, cd player whirls, indicator/warning lamp lit up, computer display for MPG & MPH is reset, WTF is going on!!!

Answer
Dear Chris,
Most cases like this that I have handled turned out to be a defective ignition switch (not the portion that the key goes into but the electrical part directly connected behind it).
There is no logical component that could affect such a diverse number of components. I have even seen sidemirrors and other parts moving as if a goblin has infected the car.
But you may want to have it diagnosed with a BMW scanner at your option. There is a small chance that the EWS (anti-theft) is defective. OBD scanners would be next to useless on cases like these since it is not emissions related.
You may want to have your neighborhood mechanic replace it for you. It is usually P/N 61326901961.
Cheers!
Tino