BMW Repair: Havent been using my BMW and i cant get in?, release cable, lock cylinder

Question
Hi,
   I own a BMW 1990 525i E34 chassis! Im searching on the internet for help, because as I stated my car wont open
because of the battery, it has died! I havent been using my car for about 2 years and its been sitting on my driveway! What is my best bet? call a locksmith, slim jim it, or anything useful that you can give me to open my car so I can recharge the battery (if possible), or to just purchase a new battery! I went on previous sites stating I can jump start or get some power to the lights from the trunk?! or even jack the car up and put a battery charge cable and hook it up to the starter or the alternator not sure which one! I don’t want to go to that much hassle! I hope I am not a bother or nor this letter is confusing to you in some way! thanks you appreciate your help!

Ryan

Answer
Ryan E34 is not my specialty if you read my profile, but I'll see if I can give you a few ideas. The battery is under the rear seat if I'm not mistaken. See if you can somehow pull on the hood release cable from the outside of the car to open the hood then you can use a jumper on the underhood battery posts to wake your car up and let you use your key. I remember somebody in the shop saying you could get to the cable by removing the drivers head lights. Don't know if it is true, but worth a try in your situation. I didn't realize that you couldn't open the driver door from the lock cylinder if the battery is dead. You may have to jack the car up like you said and provide power to the alternator or more likely the starter post as this is the same effect as my idea with the underhood posts. Where is the key? You didn't mention the key. By the way your battery is absolutely toast if it sat for two years.
-Evan