Volvo Repair: FAULTY TCM, educated guess, guessing game

Question
Not sure if oil counter was reset, would that affect the adaptation procedure?  Had the TCM upgraded as we'll.

When I asked dealer to run adaptation they simply reset to zero and didn't run the whole process.  I had to take it back and get it redone and explain the error.  They didn't seem to happy with me during the process.  Thinking my best shot is to get full software rebooted back up.  Do I have a reasonable shot to get this thing working again without the purchase of a brand new one by rebooting.  Does the reboot clear all memory and start it up fresh?

Thanks for your help.
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Followup To

Question -
I have a faulty TCM that's not responding to adaptation procedures upon install of new transmission.  Getting both harsh shifts and flares (P-D 2-3 4-3 harsh, 3-4 flare).

Dealer says I need a new one.  Question I have is would I be better off just simply trying to reload software.  Or possibly a used working TCM (which I've purchased) and reload the software on that.  Dealer doesn't know if they can reload the software as it may be VIN specific.  It's about a $150 guessing game on this

Answer -
Well a TCM upgrade may fix the problem.  Have you done the oil counter reset when you started the adaptation procedures?  The TCM from another car will no reload to a different car.  I have seen it tried before and it stores failure codes that cannot be cleared.  The TCM is several hundred dollars to buy.  I'm afraid though that anything I can tell you is also gonna be an educated guess just like the dealer there is telling you.  

James

Answer
The oil counter CAN affect the adaptation.  What kind of transmission did you put in?  Factory rebuilt, aftermarket rebuilt, or did a shop rebuild it?  I have seen this happen before where a shop rebuilt the transmission and it never adapted right because of transmission problems, not TCM problems.  The TCM is a big iffy for me.  It may fix the problem but I would not feel comfortable recommending it.  The adaptation procedure is VERY difficult to do and if there are big flares/jerks it simply won't adapt.  The car needs to be in good condition to perform adaptation.  The one I had like this had a blown turbo so it had a cloud of smoke behind it so it wasn't driveable.  Adaptation procedure takes at least 10-20 miles.

James