QuestionThank you for your suggestions Don. I wanted to give a little more info...in my normal comfort zone I usually drive the speed limit...that's not where I get the "honks".
That tends to happen more when I am unsure of where to get off of a main road and there are very few exits...I get worried that I will miss it and get "stuck" on the main road so I slow down my speed to look for the exit...not like a turtle...but people whiz by you like they are in a rocket. Most of the time if there is someone else to drive I gladly let them...I know I will never get better that way...but I am just a wreck. I also am afraid to pull out across several lanes of traffic to get out of a parking lot...I would rather go a few blocks out of my way...and alot of people get irritated about that. Your point about phobias is something I have thought about...I just don't know if that is something that a therapist could help me with. Sometimes my fears are on the irrational side....sometimes they are well founded. I wish the town I lived in had some type of driving school like you suggested....all they have is the defensive driving and drivers education type of schools. I do want to get better though...I don't like the idea of being scared to drive in a different town. Thank you so much for your help.
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I have had a license for over 20 years and as long as I am in my town I drive okay. My problem is when I have to go to another town that I am unfamiliar with...I can't drive...trying to drive in the heavy traffic and the complicated roads confuses me and turns an adequate driver into a mess. The town I live in is not a small town...and I may eventually find myself having to deal with the same type of problems here. What can I do to improve my driving without having a wreck in the process? People are mean and impatient when they are driving...I have had them honk at me, flip me off...just because I wasn't driving fast enough because I was looking for a place to get off the main road. I have a small child...so it's not like I can haul him to another town to "practice"...I just don't want to end up homebound. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much.
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Jacey,
My daughter-in-law has a similar problem, but she is not anxious to solve it. If you are willing to do the driving and work on the problem, then you are more than 1/2 way there.
Let's look at a couple of things. if you are getting honked at a lot in your local area, then maybe you ARE going too slow. You may need to try to ramp up your skills and speeds a little. If you are sticking to the speed limit, then you really don't have a problem, but some areas, the speed limit is just a suggestion and the flow of traffic is a lot faster. In those instances, within your own comfort and safety zone, try to speed up a little to more naturally go with the flow of traffic. I am not advocating speeding or anything dangerous, and going the speed limit should be OK if you are letting traffic around when possible.
If you are going well below the speed limit, then I would hope you would be able to speed up a little. This not only will stop some of the honking, but it will actually be safer IF you are not turning yourself into a nervous wreck.
Practice is usually the best thing for this type of problem, but you may need more personal help. In this instance, I don't think a normal "driving school" will be much help, they try to just get you to be legal and pass tests.
I might recommend you search out some of the high performance driving schools that are all over the country. YOu get to sometimes drive their cars, or you can drive your own car. Not all of them are "racing" schools, most schools offer safety courses and street skills schools.
Search the internet for Skip Barber or Bob Bondurant driving schools. If they don't offer something in your area, you can search Google for other driving schools. Do some research.
But mainly, try to get as much practice as possible in traffic. Start out in your local area, stay away from rush hour at first, then maybe try to hit rush hour. Then work towards bigger cities on trips. If you have someone else with you, try doing more driving yourself rather than letting them drive if that is what happens. take less high speed roads and avoid trouble spots, but keep practicing.
One other thing. Be prepared. When going to a new area, look over a good road map, and use the internet map services to get a good idea of what roads you will be taking and what turns and other things will be there. I find the more I prep when going to new area, the better I feel. Keep those maps near you (I like paper maps, not computer maps, they are too hard to deal with when driving). And refer to those maps at stops when you can look at them without danger. Have your passengers look over the maps and warn you about upcoming turns or intersections. Make sure your passengers are calm and helpful, if they are nervous, they will add to your own nerves. Also, if the kids are making a fuss, that is bad. Try to have them calm and get them to behave when you are driving, this is good for anyone, but not always possible.
If the driving school isn't possible, try to find a local friend that is a good driver and a good "teacher" (the two don't go together naturally, find someone that can really help you).
As a last resort, you may want to talk to a therapist about phobias, sometimes, it takes this to break some mental log jam.
Good luck, I hope I have helped.
Don
AnswerJacey,
You are not alone on that exit thing you mentioned. When I am in an unfamiliar area and am looking for an exit, I too slow down, it is natural. Just try to keep an eye on what is behind you, and if you are being pressed too much, try to relax and if you miss your exit, you can always turn around and try again, this time, knowing better where the exit will be.
Even if you go 10 miles out of your way, it isn't any real big deal, and most roads give you options. Don't be tempted on divided roads to turn around illegally in the center, just go to the next exit.
If you let me know what state you live in (that is all I need) I can look to see if there are any driving schools in your area that might help.
But mainly, I think you just need to do as much of your own driving as possible, practice is what most people need to get over any type of anxiety. IT isn't unusual at all, so don't feel like you are the only one.
Also, when you do have to slow down, remember that those behind you will slow down too, just give lots of warning, turn on your signal, tap your brakes. Keep your speed up as much as possible though. Don't let drivers that follow close or big trucks push you too fast, or past your turn. If you give enough warning, even big trucks will have time to slow down or pull out and pass. Ignore the cars whizzing past. (know they are there, but try not to let them bother you).
My father gave me this advice when I was learning how to tow a large camper behind a car or truck: "You drive your vehicle, and be sure you are in your lane driving safely and giving the right signals....let the other drivers worry about themselves!"
Don
