Comparison Tests
The assignment was simple. Recruit a crack team of top-flight road-test professionals and drive to the hinterlands of West Virginia with seven of the hottest mid-price sports sedans available. Return to headquarters with results that will prompt a flood of outraged letters suggesting that said team (1) consists of paid shills for one or the other participating marques and (2) would be better suited as Wal-Mart greeters or Foot Joy shoe salesmen.
Quickly assigned to the job were experts known internally as Chuck Pachetti, Spanky, Sea Bass, Biscuit, Milhouse, Louie, and Pusstoe, not to mention the Schnozzgrove, all of whom faced the perils of the Appalachian high country as well as having to don coats and ties for evening dinners at their advance base, the grand and gracious Greenbrier in White Sulphur Springs. Having never eaten at an establishment more elegant than the Sidetrack bar and burger grill in Ypsilanti, Michigan, the team was forced to make certain social adjustments for the Greenbrier, as they did with the natives in the outlying hollows, all of whom drove pickups, appeared to be heavily armed, and were in serious need of periodontal work.
West Virginia is blanketed with stunning mountain scenery laced with a magnificent network of smooth, winding paved roads. These are the result of a unique social agenda that has prioritized highway construction above other public works like, for example, schools. (Please address these letters personally to Yates-Ed.)
No matter, the state is a driving paradise, especially for a collection of sports sedans all linked by as-tested prices between $33,896 and $40,235; punchy powerplants in the 210-to-231-hp range; and offering five- or six-speed manual transmissions.
Heading this group, at least in terms of curiosity, was the Cadillac CTS, fresh from its long-lead introduction to the national press in neighboring Virginia. We also had two 10Best winners in play: the much-celebrated BMW 330i and the new Audi A4 3.0 Quattro. Also on hand were the hot-off-the-presses Jaguar X-type 3.0 and the newish Lexus IS300 manual. Rounding out the lineup were the relatively familiar Lincoln LS and the charmingly baroque Saab 9-3 Viggen, the only four-cylinder, turbocharged front-driver of the lot. Seven diverse machines representing design philosophies from five nations, linked generally in size, pricing, body configuration, and most important, by the retention of the fast-fading enthusiast joy stick, the manual transmission.
During four days of hard driving, both on the interstates and in West Virginia where the locals brag, "If you flattened the landscape, we'd be bigger than Texas," we reached some surprising conclusions (and some predictable ones as well). These are sure to produce knee-jerk rabid denunciations and wild celebrations from all of you out there in readerland. Chuck, Spanky, and the gang eagerly await your e-mails, calls, and letters.
