2009 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S

2009 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S 2009 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S
Short Take Road Test

You might think that putting a twin-turbo V-8 into a 5500-pound SUV and charging almost $140,000 for it is excessive, but we figured it out: The 2009 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S is the perfect tow rig. It is rated to tow 7716 pounds, and everybody wants a tow vehicle that outruns the car on the trailer, right?

Stupid Quick and Stupefying Agility

With 550 hp, the Cayenne Turbo S accelerates to 60 mph in 4.4 seconds and to 100 in 10.8. On a tight road, the rate with which it builds speed is terrifying. After just 30 feet, the Turbo S feels as if it were going 20 or so mph faster than its actual already-eye-bulging velocity. With the accelerator pinned, the air cascading from the tailpipes sounds like opening a window in a 747 at cruising speed.

For guys who grenade the clutch in their 911 Turbo while bracket racing, we recommend subbing in this Cayenne. All-wheel drive and an automatic transmission will have you running 12.9s at 110 mph as regularly as CARB ignores reality. Passing on two-lanes is a riot, and the jackass who accelerates when you pull out to overtake him had better be commuting in an F-15 if he hopes to block you—the Cayenne’s 50-to-70-mph time of 3.3 seconds is one tick behind that of Cadillac’s 556-hp CTS-V automatic.

Odds are your Porsche club isn’t renting the local drag strip, so it’s good that the Turbo S is as weirdly competent on a winding track as it is stupid fast on a straight one. We recorded 0.88 g of stick on the skidpad, and activating the suspension’s sport mode keeps the big body relatively level and buttoned down in the twisties. Mash the throttle halfway through a turn, and rather than an immediate dive toward the weeds, the Turbo S responds with a gradual unraveling of your line. So it’s agile, but it never feels small. If this is barnstorming, then you’re piloting the barn.

Brake Fade? Seriously?
Speaking of outbuildings, the Turbo S’s braking performance might put it in the doghouse. We noted some brake fade during our testing, perplexing considering we’ve never noticed any brake fade in previous Cayenne tests and this example was fitted with almost $9000 worth of ceramic-composite brakes. The official 70-to-0-mph braking figure—160 feet—bests the Lexus IS F’s by six feet, but by the third stop, the distance had stretched to 185.

Our other complaint is that, although sport mode does an admirable job of keeping the Cayenne controlled for enthusiastic driving, the normal and comfort modes don’t quite loosen up the suspenders enough for serene slogs over cratered Michigan freeways. Blame the 21-inch wheels and tires, but every expansion joint is like a tripwire triggering a lurch and a bang from below. Even on smooth pavement, the Michelin Latitude Sport rubber sings loudly.

So, those are the compromises. Pay almost $140,000 for a 550-hp SUV, and you get space for five people and their luggage, rocket-propelled acceleration, and admirable back-road manners. You don’t get fade-free brakes or the smoothest cruiser out there, but you can put a Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG—at 4.5 seconds to 60, it’s 0.1 second slower than the Turbo S—on the trailer and bring it along.