2010 Porsche Panamera Turbo

2010 Porsche Panamera Turbo 2010 Porsche Panamera Turbo
Road Test

When a 500-hp Porsche shows up—especially one with four doors—some sort of irrational response seems appropriate. Usually someone says, “We should race this thing,” except our racing budget is exactly equal to the number of folding bills you’ll find in the editors’ trousers at, say, 10 p.m. on the second Wednesday after payday. Still, we could have raced the Panamera Turbo because it has more moves than a congressman at a pastry buffet. Consider: Against one of its competitors—let’s say a Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG—the Panamera’s 0-to-60 and quarter-mile times are both 0.6-second quicker, and the Porsche arrives at 150 mph 2.4 seconds sooner.

All agreed that the Panamera's cabin is exquisite. Center console (above) looks busy but was easy to learn, at least after multiple hits of coffee, Mountain Dew, and Vivarin (below).

But forget about comparing Porsche’s first so-called sedan with other four-door locomotives. Here are the numbers that put this thing in perspective: To 60 mph, the Panamera is 0.2 second quicker—and 0.1 second quicker through the quarter-mile—than the last 911 Turbo we tested. Which is odd because the Panamera is 689 pounds fatter than the 911. Might Zuffenhausen be fudging power figures, or are the Panamera’s seven-speed doppelkupplungsgetriebe (double-clutch gearbox) and its explosive launch control responsible? To find out, some sort of competition did seem in order.

A Brumos Porsche won the 2009 24 Hours of Daytona. We couldn’t even summon the entry fees for that race, so we invented an event, the 24 Hours of Dayton, in which we were the first entry, the last entry, the only entry. Apart from that one terminal vowel, the two competitions are much alike. Both are close to airports. Some of Dayton’s citizens wear Rolex watches. Dayton made the polonium triggers in atomic bombs, while Daytona made a podium. Daytona has those jet-powered track blowers, while Dayton has one of America’s most consistent street-cleaning schedules. Dayton is home to Huffy bicycles, while Daytona is home to huffy rules-makers. Dayton built the Nutter Center, while Daytona built a press box that should have been called the Nutter Center. From Dayton hails Rob Dyrdek, who can skateboard way better than Hurley Haywood. And Daytona lays claim to the notorious “Bus Stop” turn, while Dayton possesses hundreds of bus stops, not to mention an equally notorious crash-ridden intersection known to locals as Malfunction Junction.

So we sketched out a 356-mile lap—100 times better than Daytona’s wimpy 3.56-mile lap—that started, bifurcated, and concluded in Dayton. We collared four editors, each to take the wheel for six hours, followed by driver swaps in our unique pit lane, which was, in fact, the portico of a Hampton Inn. Herewith, a sample of our drivers’ logbook comments:

JOHN PHILLIPS, 6 P.M. TO MIDNIGHT

Distance covered: 302 miles

Exited the hotel under a 180-degree rainbow. Good sign. Cabin is as lavish as any Bentley’s, though I wish there was better rear-three-quarter vision. I kept stroking the A-pillars, covered in what looks and feels like white suede. Funny that there’s so much drag while coasting at less than 10 mph. Half-shaft friction? The PDK’s premature predilection for first gear? Frightening lightning in Xenia, a city lifted bodily in an Oz-like tornado in 1974. Seats are as firm as overinflated footballs, with narrow cushions; might these soon start nagging at my hips? Cruise-control stalk is directly beneath the signal stalk. Even after three hours, I was still confusing the two. Steering is quick—tracks like a champ—and is nicely weighted, which helps mask this car’s mass. No BMW 7-series or Benz S-class is as agile, yet the Panamera is as solid-feeling as either. Lost my temper with a left-lane loiterer and deployed all 500 horses, passing on the right. Sweet mother of Usain Bolt. Scared myself as much as the loiterer. Won’t be needing the Vivarin. Soothing to find a facility in Chillicothe called “24 HOUR BOND.”