Specialty File
So we're cruising down the Antelope Valley Freeway at, shall we say, 85 mph when this Honda Accord, doing about 55, suddenly swerves into our lane.
No big deal, it happens all the time, so we tap the turn signal and prepare to move into the right lane. The Accord's signal comes on, too, and the car feints to the right. Okay, cool, we cancel the turn signal and stay where we are. But so does the Accord, when we're just yards from running into it, and we have to swerve hard into the right lane to avoid rear-ending it. Then, as we peer indignantly over at the Accord, we see two young, shaven-headed bozos giving us the mad-dog stare.
Normally, we'd exercise prudence. After all, these could be gangbangers, and they could be packing. But we're in a BMW 740iL Protection, see, so we display their IQ count, raising a single middle finger. Hey, what are they gonna do? Open fire? We have thick bullet-resistant glass with polycarbonate skins (to retain glass splinters in the event of damage from projectiles) and aramid armor in the doors and bulkheads. What's more, we have Michelin run-flat tires that can take a round and still keep the car on the road. Also, heh-heh, the car weighs 4780 pounds, enough to punt those little bald bastards into the canyon without breaking a sweat.
Okay, this isn't the kind of thing BMW encourages. You know, aggression based on superior armament. The Protection car is really intended for those people-captains of industry, political figures, and leaders of multinational Colombian agricultural cartels-who may fall victim to kidnapping or assassination attempts.
For them, the $33,000 (plus tax) premium is worthwhile. For the driver-probably a chauffeur cum security guy who's completed a course in terrorist evasion-the payoff comes from driving a car that doesn't feel like a Brink's truck. Sure, the body armor and thick glass add weight and raise the 740's center of gravity, which sometimes makes it tip alarmingly when entering bends. But the thing steers nicely, and its roadholding-at 0.79 g on the skidpad-is good enough to give you a fighting chance in a car chase.
The weight gain of 466 pounds endured by the 740iL Protection doesn't inhibit that lusty 4.4-liter V-8 much, either, although you can feel it isn't quite as strong here as in the standard car. Still, the performance figures aren't hurt too badly, and the car's 0-to-60 sprint is just 0.5 second slower (at 7.7 seconds), while the quarter-mile zips by in 16.0 seconds at 90 mph instead of 15.6 seconds at 92 mph. Braking performance, at 190 feet from 70 mph, measured 22 feet longer than that of our last 740iL, but our test surface had been recently resealed and was a bit greasy.
It sounds nuts to restrict speed in a car designed for a role where outrunning the bad guys could save your life, but the 740iL Protection bound for the U.S. market wears H-rated versions of the run-flat Michelins. So it's governed to a quoted 128 mph. (Ours actually ran 131 mph.) European models are allowed to reach 149 mph. Why's that? Do you suppose U.S. criminals drive slower cars?
The thicker sidewalls and integral support rings in the run-flat tires hide symptoms of underinflation, so a pressure-loss warning system is fitted as standard.
Other standard-equipment items include manual privacy shades on the rear side glass and a power rear-window shade. A $1700 optional console mounted in the rear center armrest is there to control the front-passenger-seat position, the climate control, the sound system, and the power shade.
With loads of aramid armor and heavy glass added to the 7-series structure, you'd expect even greater body rigidity than usual. But that's not what you get. The extra weight carried by the car's super-structure produces occasional quivering and shuddering when the car hits rough surfaces. Vibrations course through the steering column, too, in a way they don't in a standard soft-skin 7-series.
Clearly, added heft in these areas com-promises a vehicle's perceived rigidity, but fortunately not enough in normal driving to be a major hindrance. Besides, there's compensation offered by way of reduced noise. The thick glass and door panels attenuate noise even better than in a stock 740iL, with sound levels at idle down to 40 decibels and with 70-mph cruise readings as low as 61 decibels. So there's no need to shout on the car's standard-equip-ment cell phone, and you can scream in frustration at the slow, second-rate navigation system without being heard outside.
