Road Test
An embarrassment of riches is a nice problem to have, right up until you have to explain it.
Customer: “What’s that? It looks like an SUV.”
Ford salesman: “No, no, definitely not an SUV. That’s the Edge. It’s a crossover with a 3.5-liter, 24-valve V-6 and a six-speed automatic.”
Customer: “Okay, then, what’s that over there? It looks like half station wagon, half SUV.”
Ford salesman: “No, no, definitely not a wagon or an SUV. That’s the Taurus X. It’s a crossover with a 3.5-liter, 24-valve V-6 and a six-speed automatic.”
Customer: “Well, jeez, what’s that in the corner, then? Gotta be a wagon, right?”
Ford salesman: “No, no, definitely not a wagon. That’s the Flex. It’s a crossover with a 3.5-liter, 24-valve V-6 and a six-speed automatic.”
Three crossovers with the same drivetrain, three crossovers with all- or front-wheel drive, three crossovers that are within an inch of each other in height, three crossovers that carry base prices starting at less than 30 grand.
In truth, exactly no one will mistake the Flex for its siblings, mostly because it resembles a starter kit for a billboard company. Although Ford refuses to utter the “w” word, the company would prefer you call it a wagon rather than a minivan—tempting, given the Flex’s cubist cockpit, which seats seven (or six, if you order the twin captain’s chairs as a second row). Riding on a Taurus X platform that has been stretched five inches, the Flex is a Holland Tunnel of a car—far larger than it appears in photos. Its wheelbase surpasses a Honda Pilot’s by 8.7 inches. Its overall length beats a Toyota Highlander’s by 13.4 inches. With its second- and third-row seats folded flat, the Flex offers 83 cubic feet of cargo space, more than the mammoth Toyota Land Cruiser. And the top-of-the-line Flex Limited AWD, as tested here, weighs 4844 pounds. Back in ’91, a Buick Roadmaster Estate wagon—just about the largest thing we’d driven that wasn’t still attached to tail fins—was more than 400 pounds lighter.
No matter. Inside and out, the Flex is dazzling. Panel gaps, paint, surface textures—all are superb. The front doors close heavily and silently, like coffin lids. There are seven dome lights and a like number of available hues for footwell illumination. The cockpit demonstrates Lexus-like attention to detail, including contrasting leather stitching. Second-row riders will enjoy the wedge-shaped footrests, à la Rolls-Royce. The silky off-white headliner brightens what might otherwise have been a dark office, and the elegant faux-wood trim is dispersed to persuasive effect. In fact, the cockpit is sufficiently luxurious that the Flex could easily have been sold as a Lincoln. The $1495 “Vista Roof” (remember the Olds Vista Cruiser?) includes one sliding sunroof over the front seats, two fixed “portholes” above the middle seats, and a 33-by-16-inch fixed pane above the third row.
The IP’s four gauges are clear and simple, although the fat steering wheel can obscure the speedo’s vital 60-to-80-mph range. The center stack, whose valuable topmost acreage is given over to the optional nav screen/backup camera ($2375), is easy to learn despite its 32 buttons. Too much space, however, has been commandeered by an analog clock at the bottom of the stack. We’d gladly have forgone that timepiece in favor of larger HVAC controls and a radio that displayed stations on its own screen, rather than on the nav’s.
The front seats are spacious, firm, and comfortable for long interstate slogs, although their headrests are permanently canted so far forward that they’ll often mess with your hair. The middle seats, which adjust manually fore and aft, are among the best in the vehicular universe, offering more legroom than the fronts, not to mention a view out of the flat-slab windows that’ll make you think you’re ridin’ Greyhound. The front doors are 44 inches long, and the rears are 43 inches long—about the same as Mercedes’ full-size GL-class SUV. Ingress requires neither climbing nor slouching. Just perch on the seat’s outer edge, then swivel your feet. Voilà! You’re ready to yell at the kids.
