Hijacking someone else’s identity is an increasingly common way to buy metal-flaked boats, sweet new freezer-on-the-bottom refrigerators, and memberships to the jelly-of-the-month club. But identity theft affects more than just people: Bavarian sedans are particularly susceptible. Over the years, the BMW 3-series has been the target of more attempted identity thefts than Russell Brand. (“Hi Katy, will you let me back in? No, really, it’s me. Today my voice is higher is all. And I’m not British anymore.”) For luxury automakers introducing new entry-level sedans, benchmarking the 3-series seems as important as installing an engine between the fenders. While some have come close, though, no car has achieved the lasting critical acclaim enjoyed by BMW’s golden gosling.
It’s harder to hit a moving target, and BMW renewed the 3-series for 2012. Internally designated F30, the new generation is longer and structurally stiffer but no heavier than the outgoing E90. The much-loved naturally aspirated inline-six that powered the base car is now gone, replaced by a turbocharged four that makes 10 more horsepower and 55 more pound-feet of torque. So we guess maybe that’s okay with us. What isn’t okay with us is a base price that is inching closer to $40,000. With just a few add-ons—Sport Line trim, sunroof, and adaptive suspension the big-ticket items among them—the car tested here rang up at $45,145.
Cadillac’s most recent attempt at 3-series emulation was the CTS, an ambitious tweener that hoped to steal sales from BMW’s 3- and 5-series with a single blow. This time around, the company started where identity thieves usually do: the target’s garbage. Engineers say the E90’s predecessor, the E46, was their dynamic benchmark, and the critical dimensions of the ATS are right on top of the E90’s. It’s easy to spot the similarities in the suspension setup, too. Just like the BMW, the ATS tested here is powered by a turbocharged 2.0-liter four-cylinder. Caddy’s engine tops the BMW mill by 32 horsepower and five pound-feet of torque, for totals of 272 and 260, respectively. Its 3477-pound curb weight and 50/50 front/rear weight distribution parrot figures familiar to drivers who have sworn allegiance to the blue-and-white propeller. Its $34,615 base price is nearly three grand less than the BMW’s, but stuffed with Cadillac’s CUE infotainment system, an adjustable sport suspension, and a trunkload of other options, the example here landed at $45,910. These two are fairly evenly matched, but as all those aspirational appliance hoarders will tell you, there’s no room for error in identity theft.