Auto Parts: Adaptor for Top-Post battery to side-post clamps, jumper cables, auto supply stores


Question
Is there an Adaptor so that TOP-POST Battery can attach to the car's standard SIDE-Post Cable Connectors?
It's extremely difficult or impossible to get a good clamp on batteries with those those tiny side-posts.  
It is as tho the designers intended to prevent anyone from attaching clamps to charge the battery or to give or receive a jump with jumper cables.
I want to use a Top-post battery and connect it's manly posts with their regular top-clamps but I want to connect those to the wimpy Side-post clamp screws that come with the car?
I don't want to have to change out the entire Cables that came with the car.  
I've gone to local auto supply stores and they are clueless, of no help.  This apparently is not a usual request, so they are unfamiliar with a solution, and they don't stock anything like the adapter I am seeking.
I'm hoping to find who makes or sells such a thing,  or what it might be called?

Is there any reason not to do this?

What could have been a 5-minute jump if I had Top-posts is now a major crisis time-consuming inconvenience..  I had to find a special socket to fit the little bolt on the positive side to remove it.  And without the cable attached it was, of course, impossible to start the car.  So I have to remove the battery and take it to a shop and have it charged.

Details:
SIDE-POSTS.  The  bolts from each connection, the bolts that connect the cable by screwing into the battery, those bolts are small!  Too small to get a good connection with Jumper Clambs.  On the Negative cable The 'post-bolt' is only about a 1/4" diameter, and it sticks out only about 1/4".


And worst is that the Screw-bolt on the Positive cable is RECESSED into a big, round connector.  Like they didn't want anybody to ever be able to jump the battery.
And neither Screw-bolt could be removed from the cable connecter.  So once the battery is removed from the car there was still no way to attach cables to charge the battery.  I had to find bolts that would screw into the battery before I could attach clamps to charge it.

Why was such a think as these stupid Side-post batteries ever invented?  What good are they?  What are the advantages?  Who thinks they are a good idea?

(1994 Saturn SW1 Station Wagon)

Answer
    I have a hard time believing you couldn't find those adapters at an auto parts store.  We always carried them at my store, all the companies that make battery accessories sell them.  It's a clamp that goes around the battery post that has a roughly 1" extension coming off the side with a hole that will take the standard GM side-post cable.  GM has used those side-post cables since the early seventies and they work real well to prevent corrosion; you'll never see corrosion on GM cables like you do on others.  GM could get away with this because they owned the biggest battery company (at the time) in the world (Delco), so supply was no problem.  If I'm not mistaken, the Saturn has the battery wedged into a little space behind the front wheel.  This would make access for jump-starting a bit tough, although they include a post under the hood that can be used instead.

    You are probably going to bad auto parts stores, i.e. Pep Boys and the like.  If you have to go to a franchise or chain store, try a NAPA.  Your best bet would be an independent jobber who controls his own inventory.  Find one who carries DEKA batteries, he'll have what you need or at least be able to get it from his DEKA warehouse.