QuestionHi, my question for you is are there any techniques other than completely
destroying my male competition to stop the harassing comments I get as being
one of the few and sometimes only female competitor?
AnswerHello Alexa and thank you for asking this question.
The first thing is to consider what's going on, or what may be going on with your male competitors (since no one REALLY knows what's inside someone else's head). Your male competitors might believe that a female driver has no place in racing, that a "female's lack of ability" could endanger them on the track, that a female driver can't control her emotions or any number of other myths. They might be afraid of being beaten by you, and what might happen because of that (comments from others, their own self-talk from their upbringing, a blow to their self esteem, etc.). They might also be playing psych out games to try to rattle YOUR game with comments and who knows what.
Or your male competitors might be curious about how you will do, or just look at you as a racing driver and their job is to beat you. These two examples are what we hope for, because proving that you are a competent and competitive driver should gain the respect of drivers who have a healthy self esteem and aren't threatened by you because you are female. It would be great if they feel threatened by you because you are a good driver and as a good driver could beat them (or maybe have). That's the optimal scenario.
Now with the first group of drivers I mentioned, proving you are a competent and competitive driver could either help them grow up, or just result in them being more upset (and increase comments and harassment - and realize this is out of their fears). But coddling their egos is is not your job - your job is to drive the BEST race you can and win. To do that, you need to understand that it's their choice how to handle the situation, and it's YOUR choice to learn to let comments, actions, etc. slide right off you. You also have the option to get angry, and that's your right and choice. The question is, will getting angry help you be the best racing driver you can be? And please, realize that it's racing, it's not personal. Everyone behaves according to their own programming and they don't know you well enough for it to be personal.
This is what it's all about, what is going to help you do your very best each race. What I suggest is that when you get ready to compete, you let everything go that's not going to help you do your best. This is one of the foundation skills I teach competitors.
What I'd suggest is for you to use something you are familiar with - your flame-retardant suit. Your suit's job is to protect you from things that could hurt you. You can program your mind to give your racing suit another job, to protect you from any comments or actions that could hurt you and hold you back from doing your best.
Here's one way to do it. Get relaxed, close your eyes, and take five slow deep breaths. Then, picture or imagine putting on your suit, and imagine that you've given your suit another property, that of deflecting negatives. Notice whether these additional properties of your suit have a sound, color or feeling. Really use your imagination with this. When you've got it, imagine being around a male driver who makes an uncalled-for comment. Now, this is crucial, imagine the comment drifting toward you, being deflected by the suit and going away permanently. Practice this, and as you get better, imagine different scenarios with different people, groups, comments, actions (even the media).
This is something you need to practice. The payoff is that when you get good at doing this in your imagination, then you can do it at the track. With practice you'll discover that all you need to do is IMAGINE putting on your suit and you'll get the same results. This is a powerful tool, and I've helped many athletes perform better under pressure by using it. Practice it, it WORKS!
Good luck and let me know how it goes.
David
David Kenward, The Mental Coach
Sacramento, California
http://www.thementalcoach.com
