Land Rover Repair: Range Rover Sport Automatic 2006

Question
My Range Rover Sport is stuck in a multi-storey car park with a flat battery.  I have tried jump starting it and it started but died almost straight away.  I tried connecting a new battery but the engine started smoking before I even started the engine so I had to disconnect it before it caught alight.  Any ideas?

Answer
There is no reason your engine should smoke when the battery is connected.  My guess is that you have multiple issues, and I would suggest you remove it from the garage with dollies if you are not able to shift it out of park.  "Engine smoking" and flat battery do not really go together unless you have a short circuit in the alternator.  But that won't lend itself to repair in the garage.  Your best bet is to connect jumpers and try and shift to neutral but if that does not work tow companies have dollies to put under the wheels