Small Engines (Lawn Mowers, etc.): mow height, bunch of sheep, cletus

Question
What height should I set my mower at the first treatment of the year? I seem to have allot of weeds and the grass appears to be dead.
Thanks!
Diane

Answer
I tend to hit dirt the first mow of the year.  There are several reasons behind this:

1.  I am very lazy.  Won't have to mow for a few weeks.
2.  My yard is ugly.  It is almost solid weeds, because the DDT I put out was for insects and not weeds.
3.  I have a vendetta against earthworms.  They tend to poke their little heads out in the spring.  Well I will be there to hack them right off with the mower.  Those little jeez they make me ANGRY!!! Count to 10 Cletus, count to 10.  Hold on.

4.  I like to be different.  Everyone has a green yard.  Why give in to conformity like a bunch of sheep.  baahhhh baaahhhh my yard is green too.

5.  Your mower will have to work a little harder that first mowing, but he will thank you profusely in the summer months when you are not having to do much with the yard.  Mowers are generally lazy machines.  They don't like to do a whole lot of work.  All you are doing is pushing, but think about that poor mower.  He is spinning a blade and getting hit by rocks and all kinds of other debris in the yard while chopping up the grass into a nasty green sludge.

Be good to your mower and you will have a friend for life.

Disclaimer

Cletus does his best to answer all material to the best of his ability, but sometimes has lapses of memory, seizures etc... Review the answer very carefully and if you are uncertain aboot the answer ask another expert. Please give him a chance. He is trying to do some good in the world! If you do not like the answer please complain to john5524_bert@yahoo.com. He is keeping an eye on poor Cletus right now and can be downright mean.

Mrs. Edmond

and

Cletus