| Sony DVD - Widgets
Logitech X-530The next time we go to someone's house and that person starts bragging about how many MP3s he has and then requires us to listen to his favorite songs on shitty computer speakers we're going to lose it. You wouldn't install suspension and then drive on stock rims, right? Logitech puts the performance on your machine with its X-530 speaker system.
Sony DVD 400-DISC HDMI DVD/SA-CD ChangerHoly shit, how come nobody told us you could buy a 400-disc DVD player? Now if only I could figure out how to scam that many DVDs from Netflix to fill the machine without having it randomly jump to some odd Swedish pornography while my parents are visiting. Technology is a gift and a curse, and Sony is just ushering in the end times.
Oakley ThumpOK we couldn't resist anymore. When these first dropped we thought it was the dumbest thing Oakley had done since the company told cops its glasses would make their feelings of love toward other men go away. But now we get it! These MP3-playing glasses are the perfect design to make your parents go crazy. Not only are you not looking at them but also you aren't even looking like you are listening. The only thing your dad will hate more than the glasses is the poster of your new idol, Lil'John, wearing them. Genius! A+
LG F9100We don't know what it is but we have to find phones with QWERTY keyboards now. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm impatient as hell and I have insanely large fingers (ladies you can call anytime). The text-message thing is cool because I don't have to talk to jackasses, but it sucks because it takes five minutes to type "eat a bowl of duck" or something like that. The new LG is going to make my antisocial rhetoric more streamlined but not any more charming.
Samsung YEPP YH-999 PMC (20GB)I have this friend (no really, it's not me) who carries around images of his girl like a new mother carries pictures of her baby. Every time I see that guy (stop; it's not me) he opens his phone so I can look at some girl he is dating in gnarly positions. The fact that he does weird shit like that doesn't bug me as much as the always-shitty image quality. If you are going to have show-and-tell with that sort of thing make sure the quality is good or else it's just dirty.
Siemens Limited Edition SL65 ESCADAParis Hilton calls to me like a siren to a shipwreck. I have finally started to see all the hidden signs she's giving me in her photos. If you play her dirty video backwards she actually says my name twice, and we are also born in the same decade, which makes us a perfect pair. I don't even care if I was the only guy who saw House of Wax. I bought this Siemens Escada phone because I know she is into fashion just like me.
iPod SocksMmhh. iPod socks. Socks for your iPod. Now Apple is starting to test our compulsions to buy everything the company makes. We like the idea of protecting our MP3 players, but not so much with a pink sock. Also, I have about five socks that don't match anything else after I do my laundry every week. Can't I just use those? The messed-up part is we will probably go to the Apple store tomorrow to buy them and a red iPod featuring a band we don't even like.
Samsung SC-D353 MINI-DV Camcorder & DUOCAMSamsung makes amazing camcorders. But, we started to realize we couldn't even understand half of the specs on these products. This should come as no surprise to anyone who is technically knowledgeable about such things, as month after month we bullshit our way through another article. Maybe someday we'll take a community college course on writing, too. Or is it "to"? I am so going to get fired.
Dell Latitude X1The new Dell Latitude X1 is great for kids. Your nephew will be overjoyed to find the laptop is lightweight when he takes it home to finish your paper for biology class. The compact keyboard and high-quality screen will keep him feeling fit day and night until the job is done, and done right.
Shuttle XP17 LCD MonitorBig ups to my LAN party heads. We've got to hand it to the guys who say, "Screw the girls. I am going to sit around all weekend, smoke weed and play video games with my friends." While all you players out there might think that is wack, wait until your ass is married and you spend your Friday night watching romantic comedies about some beat chick and her feelings. Even if the gamers never find that perfect lady, at least they'll be able to sleep with prostitutes without the guilt married guys have. The Shuttle LCD is made for the smart ones.
Delphi XM Roady2Screw the radio. Aside from Mike Ill, it all sucks. FM radio has 10 decent songs that get ruined by repetition, and AM is for people who join militias to keep America free of immigrants. Delphi helps you walk the line between being numb and becoming a Klan member by making XM radio not only portable, but also cool looking.