It's hard to say what makes certain car guys take such perverse pleasure in watching others unsuccessfully attempt to start their cars; maybe it's the idea of emotional fidelity at an automotive level. Regardless, there's no lover's touch required to get any fuel-injected or carbureted engine moving -- only a passing awareness of what it needs and what kind of mood it's in at the time.
Starting an engine requires a slightly different set of mechanical criteria than keeping it running, especially when the engine is cold. Compressing air and fuel by squeezing it with a piston causes it to heat up, bringing it closer to its autoignition point and making it easier to ignite. Engines run best when they're hot because they're designed that way; compression ratios, air/fuel ratios and ignition timing all work under the assumption that there's some heat present in the cylinder walls and pistons. Without that heat, the engine needs a denser cloud of fuel to sustain combustion.
Carburetors are basically metered fuel leaks, using engine vacuum to suck fuel through the carb's valves and into the motor. Engine vacuum comes from pistons dropping in the cylinders and, like air pressure, it takes time to build up. The engine won't pull fuel through the carb jets until it builds up sufficient vacuum, which is part of the reason why carburetors typically have a mechanical fuel squirter -- aka "power valve -- to supply fuel on demand. Quickly tapping the gas pedal engages the power valve and squirts fuel into the intake manifold -- combined with the choke plate, this extra squirt of fuel provides a mixture rich enough to ignite in a cold engine.
For carbureted engines using a choke, the best procedure is to close the choke, pump the gas a few time to squirt fuel in and then floor the gas until the engine catches. The choke is controlling airflow, so flooring the gas will only open the carb's fuel valves and allow vacuum to pull fuel out that much quicker. Starting an engine without a choke requires a bit more fuel -- typically one or two extra pumps -- and a lighter foot on the throttle. Open the throttle plates too far and you'll lean out the fuel mixture, stalling the engine.
Fuel-injected engines work a bit differently. A fuel injection computer knows that the engine is cold, and it adjusts the air/fuel ratio to compensate. Instead of a choke plate, most fuel-injected engines close the idle air control valve to reduce airflow into the engine. When you turn the key on a cold fuel injected engine, the IAC valve closes and the computer injects a bit more fuel to encourage ignition. Most fuel injection computers will also retard timing a bit, since excessive timing advance makes the engine harder to start.
If you're one of those old-timers who has a tendency to pump the gas before starting a fuel-injected engine, then welcome to the Senior Club. Pumping the gas pedal on a fuel-injected engine won't do anything but open and close the throttle blades; ultimately, the IAC and computer determine fuel ratio. Holding the throttle open increases airflow into the engine, which actually makes it harder to start.
