UK Car Repair: Vauxhall Astra mk3 1994 L reg, vauxhall astra mk3, xmas eve

Question
Hi,
brought the missus a astra without her knowing for xmas, no i connected the battery and in the engine bay top left corner it started sparking when puting battery back on, then smoke started coming out if the interior middle vents a little, iv brought a new battery cohnnected it and still same thing the wipers on the front wont switch off so i had to pull relay out and all the lights work interior/dashboard but when i go to turn it over it just makes a noice like there is no spark. is this a prob with earth wire?
suggestions pls as its now xmas eve!! it started perfect before this happened.
also when it all went wrong the c/l stopped becoming c/l and now you have to open car manually.

Answer
Hello just got your post, unfortunately i'm in California and 8 hours behind you. It sounds silly perhaps but, did you connect the battery the correct way round? Clearly something shorted out, perhaps a starter cable touched something when you moved the cables, look down there and see if you can see where the sparking was. It's possible a fuse blew when it happened, check them all you might be able to determine which component was involved. Otherwise you will have to get someone to trace it for you!