Nissan Repair: headlights/transmission, abs light, transmission side

Question
All the fuses have been checked and the headlights themselves have been checked and are good, but I do not know how to check a relay. Now on a restart I have the 4wd light on and will not go out along with the abs light.
I do not know what was scanned on the pathfinder but the only code showing was for the transmission selenoid ...apparently its in the transmission and requires about 5 hours to change but I am hesitant with all the other things going on and do not wish to do a dealer repair that is not needed while looking for ghosts. I'm not giving up but am concerned about damage to the transmission and would like to start a repair soon. I do not wish to go to a dealer and pay for a scan again and here the same result. please advise, is there history of this problem
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Followup To

Question -
2003 pathfinder chilkoot 3.5
- will not move after sitting 2 days
- requires long warm up to move
- will only rev to 2500 rpm and bog after short warm up and drives like the throttle cable is broken and at start is not responsive.
- abs light will come on and the pump will cycle until the car is warm enough to move.
-driven on a daily basis this is not a problem
- car has been scanned and a selenoid trans code is there
-a.t. oil temp light will click on with a loud sound
-also have lost highbeam and daytime running lamps
- after a warmup this problem seems to go away, but durring the warm up the car will only go to 2500 rpm and them bog
any information will be helpful
thank you ...Blair

Answer -
Hi Blair,

Sounds like a lot of issues here. When the car was scanned, did the do both, the engine side and the transmission side? If so, I need to know all the code numbers. This will give me a direction to head. First, though, check all the fuses. Let me know what you found with the fuses and what the diag codes are in a resubmitted question. I will be glad to get you going, but I need this info.

Answer
HI Blair,

I agree with you on the dealer part. Cottman transmissions will do a diagnostics for you for free. I can't see spending 5 hours to change a solenoid unless I was taking a long nap while I was doing it. Should only take an hour. But that solenoid must be replaced first. It has nothing to do with the daytime running lights or highbeams. It could have something to do with the ABS and 4X lights though.